Running From the After
by ThisAccountIsNowInactive354085
Summary: A continuation of Strawberry Panic!, a second season of sorts. Pairings inside, starts from the Etoile Elections onwards. This is my biggest project yet, so I hope everyone enjoys it.
1. Prologue

**So it's me again, everyone! I've got some news, good or bad, whichever which way you take it =P Here's the sitch- this is going to be essentially my biggest fanfiction project ever, something I've been wanting to do for quite a while. I'm going to try and write a continuation of Strawberry Panic! with some regular pairings and some...not so regular. My major problem, I've realized, is that I always just leap into the action. Well, this time I'm going to take it slower and hopefully portray this as realistically as possible.**

**Please remember that this IS high school, private or otherwise, so any pairing is fair game. But don't worry too much- I won't go all Shizuma/Tamao or Kaname/Kagome on you- every pairing will be plausible in SOME way, and most will be predictable pairings.**

**That said, I'm not sure if I'll find the time to finish my other fics- my newer fics, such as Thorns and The Girl is Mine have a high chance that I WILL finish them, but How Can You See With Your Eyes Closed went downhill, and I'm not sure how to fix that up exactly. Anyway, I hope you all like this, and please remember to review!**

**XxxxX**

**Running From the After**

**Prologue: Because Chikaru is Kind of Psychic, After All**

_**xXLiStLesSXx**_

**XxxxX**

Standing outside in the snow alongside her excited young friends, Chikaru knows that today won't end the way it probably should.

She doesn't know that two hearts- one hopeful, the other bitter (bruised)- will finally shatter today, only hours from now. She doesn't know how badly her own heart will ache after everything's back in order, and her childhood friend is ripped from her for what feels like the last time (but in reality it's only the fourth). She doesn't know that somewhere in the dorms, an unbreakable bond will be formed between two more brokenhearted girls- one broken from watching her angel fly just out of her reach, the other from loving the girl who loves the angel who's in love with another.

Chikaru isn't psychic, no matter what all the other girls might like to believe (no matter how much _she _would). But she listens, watches.

She knows that Shizuma still doesn't know what she wants and that Miyuki is tiring of helping her search (this much was apparent by the angry red mark on the Etoile's face several nights before). She knows that Shion will be taken to live with her father to be trained as Toumori Industry's next CEO- has known since she was old enough to understand (but who truly _understands _when a friend is taken from them, anyway?). She knows that Yaya loves Hikari- sees the way Tsubomi looks at Yaya when she's sure no one's looking.

Today can only end one way, and therefore, today could not possibly end the way it probably should.

For anyone.

Because today probably should end with Tamao getting her moment in the sun, her moment with Nagisa, and today, Yaya should probably realize that the right girl for her wasn't, in fact, standing before the entirety of Astraea Hill, but sitting right beside her. Today should probably end with Shion standing up to her father and turning to Chikaru, her childhood friend (and secretly Chikaru hopes maybe more), and running off into a world of unknowns in favor of a secure future as the CEO of Toumori Industries.

But probably should, as anyone who's had their heart broken even once before knows, is most certainly not the same as probably _would_- in fact, the two were almost always complete opposites. There are too many variables- no one can be entirely happy in this situation, Chikaru knows. Today will most certainly not end the way it probably should.

With a small, sad smile, Chikaru leans back, listening to the crunching of snow beneath shoes that weren't meant for walking in the snow. The footsteps come to a slow, determined halt several feet away. Chikaru only smiles serently, still staring out at the snowy campus. "Spica's uniforms leave much to be desired around this time of year," she hums casually.

She hears a huff from behind her; an indignant scuffle. "There's nothing wrong with Spica's uniform," Shion puffs just as Chikaru knew she would. "It may not be suited for all seasons, but at least it's sensible, unlike that ridiculous floppy thing the girls at Le Rim wear."

There's a silence- Chikaru knows Shion wouldn't have stopped by her without a thing to say, as much as she wishes such a thing were realistic. "Look, Minamoto-san," and there it is, she thinks, though her brow furrows just slightly at the formal wording of her name. "Isn't it a bit cold to just be...sitting out here?" Shion asks, her voice gruff as it always is when she's embarrassed by her emotions.

Chikaru hums absently. Her lips quirk just the faintest bit upwards when she hears the blonde huff once more, hears her shuffle her feet in the snow petulantly. "Is there a problem, _Toumori-_san?" she asks in a light voice riddled with just the slightest hint of bitterness, because one mustn't break character too horribly, or it would throw off the entire mood.

"No," Shion mutters, and Chikaru can feel her heat only inches away now, can smell her unique scent. Shion never believed in perfumes- said there was no time for such frivolous luxuries in the political world (her words exactly, if Chikaru's memory serves her correctly). But somehow the blonde always smells so nice, so inviting despite her stoic demeanor. "Just...here," she finally says, and Chikaru feels something land just in her lap. "You'll freeze if you don't put something on."

Chikaru sighs and finally turns to face Shion only to watch the chapel door swing closed, and suddenly it all feels so hopeless, so over, like an impenetrable barrier between them. It feels like the end. She turns back to the bundle in her lap, fingering the warm, expensive lining of the coat Shion had tossed her way. Without thinking, she raises it to her nose and breathes in, almost losing herself in the familiar scent.

"Chikaru-senpai?"

And then there it is- reality slapping her in the face as it so often does. "Yes, Remon?" she asks, pasting a gentle smile onto her features as she turns to the green-haired girl, who is frantically gesturing to Kizuna, who's succumbed to her weariness in the snow.

And maybe it's just that she doesn't remember the feeling clearly, but Chikaru doesn't think it used to be quite so hard to fake a smile.

That day, of course, ends in the tiniest trace of happiness and a dam of tears, because Shizuma always was so selfish when it came to the emotions she liked to keep pent up inside her. She is happy, and Nagisa is happy, by default, and together they run from the wasteland of broken hearts they've left littered behind them.

Maybe Chikaru is just a little bit psychic, after all.

**The prologue was written from Chikaru's perspective so that I could encompass the general mood of the end of the show through her. Please leave a review!**


	2. Chapter One

**XxBloodwolfxX: Thanks! =D I hope it lives up to your expectations!**

**ShadowApparation: Thanks =) I figured it would sound better written from an inside POV, and Chikaru's really the only one who can see from a (mostly) unbiased perspective =) **

**Huggler: I hate those security code thingys xP Thanks for understanding- I will try to finish them, especially since I'm almost finished with the next chapter of Thorns and The Girl is Mine. I love writing Chikaru too. It's just cool to be able to do character studies and yet make her seem human...it's always a challenge to try and stay in character, though =P I do love cute Shion =D And I actually made the same observation in this next chapter xD Yaya and Tsubomi...they are an _endgame_ couple, but since I'm trying to make it realistic, it probably won't happen as easily as it has in the past, at least in my fics. I understand about Tamao and Nagisa- Tamao needs someone to care for HER occasionally. However, I honestly don't see NagiShiz lasting when push comes to shove. Just something about their personalities clashing in a non-complimentary way, for me. You'll find that I have mentioned Kagome before- always as Chiyo's girlfriend =) She had a semi-large part in Astraea Hill and I've actually recently mentioned her briefly in The Girl is Mine =) I'll probably plan something for her with Chiyo later on. And don't worry too much about Shion- I wanted to keep everything in character, but I'm thinking she'll come around with enough persuasion, though it might take a while. And aww, thanks! =D I really liked the beginning of the story you posted on here, by the way =) **

**Kaze Rei: Wow, that was a pretty in depth reading =) Completely accurate, of course =) I'll go deeper into the whole being ripped away more than once thing as the story progresses =) And if you want to write your own stories, go for it! I'd love to read it- honestly, I prefer reading to writing, but hey, if I don't post, there won't exactly be much new on this forum =P**

**Rainbowomnnom: Thanks =D The loose ends drove me MAD, to be honest. It seemed like only Shizuma and Nagisa got their happy ending, and what the hell? Other characters deserved it more, so yeah xP It might be complex, but this story WILL end happily :o**

**Tmj1395: Thanks =D I'm glad you like it so far =)**

**Also, a warning- there is bad language in this chapter- this is the worst that it will get, just because of all the emotions running wild. Hope you guys can forgive me =)**

**XxxxX**

**Running From the After**

**One: The Beginning, the End, and After it All, We're Still Only Friends**

_**xXLiStLesSXx**_

**XxxxX**

It was dark.

Surprising as it might seem, it had taken Tsubomi quite some time to realize this fact. That could be forgiven, however, when one considered that she had been sitting on the same bed, in the same position, with the same girl for hours now, and sometimes it's hard to notice the subtle changes around you when everything is so repetitive. "Yaya-senpai," she said quietly, turning to the other girl on the bed. What she saw broke her heart all over again- her strong, playful senpai was huddled on the far right of the bed, looking smaller than Tsubomi had ever imagined she could become, her arms hugging her knees. Swallowing back her own tears, Tsubomi tentatively shifted closer to the brunette. "Yaya-senpai, maybe I should go now. The Sister will be patrolling soon and..." she broke off with Yaya's utter lack of a reaction. "Right," she said quietly. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow at choir practice, and if I don't, I'll drag you there." She puffed herself up, attempting to regain some sense of normality in the present situation.

_What good would you staying do her? It's not you she wants._

Shaking the voice from her head, Tsubomi stood, brushing herself off, trying to act as if she hadn't just been virtually rejected. Just as she was about to step away, she was yanked back onto the bed, letting out a shrill shriek in the process. She turned to face Yaya, who was cringing slightly, her red eyes flickering with just the faintest hint of amusement. "Baka, I thought you didn't want the Sister to catch you," she said, her voice hoarse and her smile weak. But still, it was a smile, and the one that lit the pinkette's face was more than enough to make up for it. Then her expression sobered, and her eyes became darker, filled with such an intense hurt that Tsubomi felt her heart break for the third time that day. "Stay here, okay?"

Yaya's head was tilted downwards now, and Tsubomi knew the older girl well enough to know that she wanted her to stay, but didn't want to have to express her emotions or reason why. Tsubomi's smile could have lit the dark room- Yaya _wanted _her. Yaya didn't _hate _her. It was significantly less than she wished for, but she would have to be an idiot to pass up the obvious white flag Yaya was waving. Speaking of which...

"Hey, who are _you _calling a baka, Baka?" she shouted, her hands curling into fists at her sides without her noticing. Yaya grinned and got to her feet as well, standing only a foot or so away from Tsubomi, purposefully making their height difference very obvious. Tsubomi glared up at her, fuming indignantly.

"Just relax, Tsu-bo-mi-chan," Yaya murmured, taking Tsubomi's hands and wrapping them back behind her so that she had complete control. Her expression sobered and she dropped one of the pinkette's hands, freeing her own so she could brush the pink bangs out of wide, naïve amber eyes. "You know, I always forget you're the same age as Chiyo. You're going to give yourself a heart attack before you're twenty."

Tsubomi huffed. "It's not my fault she's some kind of stunted, Nagisa-loving drone," she snapped, pouting. "I'm not _that _young."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever pinky," Yaya said with a loose smile, pulling Tsubomi down onto the bed with her. "Let's just go to bed for now, okay?"

"Okay," Tsubomi mumbled, too tired to put up much of a fight. Emotionally, that was. It wasn't like sitting on a bed for more than three hours had drained her energy; it was more the whole 'being in love with a girl who's in love with a girl who doesn't deserve her' thing.

_Or something like that, _she thought as she rolled onto her left side, staring at the wall and hoping it couldn't see her face flush when a strong, warm arm snaked around her waist.

Tsubomi knew this was in no way some kind of foreshadowing to any feelings Yaya had for her- knew that this was just the aftermath of her loss of Hikari, the one thing she was able to protect and hold dear. It was going to be up to the pinkette to remind her senpai of the lines that she was blurring, and that Tsubomi was, in no way, Hikari, no matter how much she wished she could mean half as much to her. That Tsubomi was, in fact, only a young, bratty kouhai, not even a friend.

But that could wait for tomorrow, and Tsubomi let herself relax in Yaya's arms, let herself forget, just for the moment, that the person the brunette was holding, in her mind, was blonde, timid, and maybe just a little bit less scrawny.

**PGBR**

Cold.

Wet.

And dark, now that she'd been sitting here, watching the water in the lake ever since she'd been rejected in front of the entire Hill.

Every time the water settled, every time she thought it was at peace, there was something- a leaf, a pebble, a gust of wind- _something _that created a thousand more ripples, distorting the water and changing it into something entirely different.

Everything felt so wrong, and Tamao felt her stomach lurch with each new ripple that led to a thousand like it. Everything had been fine the way it was- why did it have to change? Why did there have to be leaves and pebbles and wind and that goddamn, cheating, lying, _fucking_ selfish playgirl Hanazono Shizuma?

The blunette let out an uncharacteristic wail and threw the first thing she could find into the lake, daring it to make ripples, daring everything to change again. Unfortunately, all that happened to be near Tamao were small pieces of bark and leaves from a nearby tree. That, combined with Tamao's poor throwing arm, not only left the poet with an intense feeling of dissatisfaction, but failed to create more than a couple ripples. Tamao choked out a laugh.

_Of course, when _I _try to change something..._

Everything was so very, very wrong. She remembered the Election through a black and white lens, the mood distorting the few colors she could bring to mind. There was Shizuma, and then she was gone, and suddenly Tamao was alone up there, and Hikari and Amane were the new Etoile. She remembered the painful sensation of a perfectly executed smile to brush away the concern, remembered looking for the one pair of eyes that could possibly see through her facade. And it was the sight that greeted her that hurt the most, because when she found them, they were so full of longing, pleading, and such utter _desperation _that it propelled Tamao to run away from it all, down, down, down to the lake.

Because there had to be _something_ not right with the world when Chikaruwas the one breaking down, sobbing, _pleading_ with a faceless figure just behind the doors to the council room. If one person deserved happiness- deserved to be left out of this web of convoluted triangles, it was Chikaru, the kindest person Tamao had ever known.

But she wasn't, and with that, they were all affected somehow, most for the worst.

But not Shizuma.

No, Shizuma always got her happy ending, without a care in the world as if to the others got theirs too, or if they came out battered and broken because _she _got her happy ending, and that was all that mattered.

There wasn't even enough room in her heart for her own best friend- for Miyuki, who had stuck to her side like glue despite her bitter sadomasochism. In fact, if Tamao was correct in her assumption, Shizuma had treated Miyuki far worse than the rest.

And what did she have to show for it?

What was her penance for treating the hearts of young girls like her own personal stomping ground when she wanted to try on a pair of fashionable, heeled boots?

A title that would never truly leave her, the respect of hundreds of innocent, starry-eyed schoolgirls, a loyal best friend whose heart she could trample on at her discretion and...

"And Nagisa," Tamao finished quietly. All the rest could be brushed aside, overlooked...but now that Shizuma had Nagisa, Tamao looked ahead of her and saw nothing but emptiness. She had nothing before Nagisa came into her life and now she had nothing once again. And it shouldn't bother her, she knew- she should be used to it. Going back to being alone should have been the easiest thing.

But humans were such selfish creatures, even Tamao herself could admit to this. _Especially_ Tamao- her passion involved seeing the worst in people as well as the best- turning every selfish, ugly emotion into something beautiful.

But there was nothing beautiful about the way Nagisa had looked at her- happy, but sad. The look that told Tamao she wouldn't leave her for Shizuma, but she wouldn't be happy about it. The look that told Tamao she was nothing but a burden, that her friendship meant nothing in comparison to Shizuma's 'love'. Tamao choked out a watery laugh.

Love.

Funny how such a stupid, immaterial thing was the culprit behind every broken heart today; the thing that created this whole mess in the first place.

**PGBR**

It felt so natural to stand there, being annoyed with Shizuma, that Miyuki didn't really register the fact that her best friend, her love, had _finally _left her until she was back in the dorm she supposedly shared with her, staring at the cold bed that hadn't been slept in since Kaori left.

It wasn't until then that Miyuki realized she was crying- felt the hot, wet tears sliding down her cheeks, though she felt so empty inside. How could there be anything left to cry? After all these years?

_You were always such a crybaby._

She fell onto the bed face-first and lay there, her sobs muffled by the soft pillows as they grew steadily wetter with each long-repressed tear.

What seemed like hours later, there was a knock at the door, and Miyuki sat, instantly clutching her throbbing head and fighting off a dizzy spell. It was an almost out-of-body experience- she sat with her uniform rumpled beneath her, her hair a mess and her makeup clumping in the corners of her eyes, the picture of everything she stood against. Everything she'd worked so hard to hide behind a mask of robotic unfeeling.

"What is it?" she finally asked, her voice cold, hollow.

The door creaked open and she lifted her head slowly, wearily to face an uncharacteristically slumped and drained Toumori Shion. The blonde raised her head slowly, tired violet eyes meeting with bitter brown ones.

There was silence for a moment before Miyuki let out a harsh bark of laughter. "You broke her heart, didn't you?" she asked, her voice tinged with a dry amusement that wasn't really there. "She gave you her love, her trust, her _everything _and _you_," she said, lifting her finger to jab in the Spican's direction, "_you _threw it back in her face." She let out a watery chuckle. "You heartless, prideful, _stupid_ little prat. I knew there was a reason I hated you so much."

Shion just stood there, blow after blow, her stance a shadow of its former splendor. When Miyuki shook her head and slumped back into her original position, she lifted her head slightly, revealing an empty expression. "It's not me you hate, Miyuki," she said bluntly, remaining firmly in her position in the door frame.

"Are you denying it?"

The Spican shook her head. "I'm not," she said in that same, emotionless voice. "If I were you, I'd hate me." She paused for a moment before stepping into the room and pulling the door closed behind her. "But you don't."

Miyuki stood abruptly, placing herself mere inches from Shion. "And why don't I?" she sneered. "You have it all- you have her _love_, and you're _rejecting _it. You single-handedly undid the perfect image that all these girls had of their beautiful Le Rim council president without saying a word." She paused, an incredulous expression plastered over her features. "She told you everything, laid it all out in front of you in some kind of final hope that you'd come to your senses and choose _her_. And you just _stood _there while she fell to pieces." Miyuki stood her ground, staring the blonde down before shaking her head again and retreating to her bed. "If I were you, I wouldn't have to imagine being someone else in order to hate myself," she spat coldly.

She knew she was going too far- knew that beneath all that political bullshit and bluster, Shion still had a heart. What was that saying; nobody knows you better than your worst enemy? Miyuki had known Shion more than long enough to know that with every new word, she was slicing a fresh wound into the Spican's heart. But she couldn't stop herself- couldn't stop the rush of spiteful words that spewed from her mouth like bile, because where was Shizuma to stand there and take the blame? Out 'making love' to Nagisa, probably. And here was Shion, conveniently weak and beaten down, just _taking _every word she spat.

"You're scum," Miyuki finally stated in a voice so choked that she could hardly recognize it as her own.

Shion lifted her head in acknowledgement. "And you're a frigid bitch."

With a desperate, choked sob, Miyuki threw herself into the Spican's arms and felt them instantly curve around her in a vice grip as she shook in the embrace of her worst enemy.

Every last, little thing drew another painful, racking sob from her chest- Shizuma in love with Kaori, Shizuma in love with Nagisa, Shizuma kissing her...Shizuma looking at her as if she were the enemy.

As if she didn't _know_.

It wasn't until she felt the tiniest drop hit her shoulder that she realized Shion was crying too- quietly, with her face buried in Miyuki's hair. She clutched the Spican's shoulders tightly and let out a watery laugh. "We're both just the stupidest girls in the world, aren't we?" she asked, her voice wavering with the aftermath of her sobbing. She felt Shion nod into her shoulder and laughed again, tightening her arms around the blonde's shoulders.

_But you knew that already._

**One note I would like to make is that I try to write as in character as I possibly can, so any Shizuma-bashing in this chapter is happening in Tamao's mind- she's just lost her best friend and love, whether she gave her away or not, and I don't know about you guys, but if that was me, I'd be pretty damn bitter too. Just wanted ya'll to know that, just in case anyone was in any way offended by Tamao's thoughts =) ALSO- MiyukiXShion is not going to happen- this was a friendship type scene, not slashy =)**


	3. Chapter Two

**IbarelyReview: Thanks =) Yeah, MiyukiXShion is okay, but I missed ChikaruXShion. I actually don't know what to do with Miyuki just yet...**

**RomanticVulcanolight: Thanks =) Unfortunately, it might not stay too poetic- I find it hard to write that way and make the story believable for more than one chapter =P**

**Tmj1395: Thanks =) And yeah, I missed ChikaruXShion.**

**Artful Lounger: First of all, thanks for the long review =) I love those the most =) I like exploring Shion's character just because we were shown enough of her to understand her personality for the most part, she even had a mini-arc at one point. Sorry it took so long to update- my laptop money hasn't come in yet, because apparently it takes ten days to send a piece of crap gift card for the sale price of my WARRANTIED laptop. Yeah xP**

**Huggler: I know, I felt bad for her too =( Well, ChikaruXTamao actually isn't a couple- I just used Chikaru's feelings as a sense of hopelessness for Tamao =/ Nope, I missed ChikaruXShion =P **

**Kaze Rei: Yeah, I've had days like Tamao did, I'm sorry to say =/ Where everything that can go wrong DOES, you know? I think Miyuki was more or less taking out her pain on Shion, who had served as her main pain in the ass (other than Shizuma) for years =/ And thanks =D**

**Shadow Apparation: Yeah, it'll be in this chapter in a sort of flashback mode =P**

**Tuume: Thanks =)**

**So, to start with- sorry if this chapter sucks. I wrote most of it tonight at midnight, with the beginnings of a nasty cold (from a roommate again), and after I'd eaten my weight in calorie-laden soup. So anyway, I felt like I was accomplishing something, at least, so please review if you like it. Also, remember that some characters will be very mi nor, so please be patient.**

**XxxxX**

**Running From the After**

**Chapter Two: Now That We're Older**

_**xXLiStLesSXx**_

**XxxxX**

**Three Months Later...**

Chikaru barely noticed as yet another grouchy businessman shoved past her without so much as a word of apology, her fingers lightly tracing the pattern of a sterling silver charm that hung by her neck on a simple chain.

_"One day, when I'm bigger, I'm going to marry you so no one can take you away."_

_ A giggle, a kiss on the cheek._

_ "I would stay with you if you didn't, Shion-chan."_

_ "Well...wear this anyway, so no one gets any bright ideas."_

That memory was foggy at best, kept alive only by the cool, smooth metal that Chikaru was favoring between her fingers. But the memory of the night of the Etoile Elections, only three months before, ached like an irritated, open wound.

"_You still have that old thing?"_

_ "Promises don't die over time, kaichou."_

_ "We were children, Minamoto-san- that promise didn't mean anything."_

Chikaru remembered the tears that had welled up in her eyes then; remembered blinking them back and forcing a small, knowing smile, because there was nothing (her) Shion hated more than weakness. The blonde had been facing away from her then; it was a lie, but it was a lie she was invested in, one that she had trained herself to believe, and when Shion had herself set in an idea...

"_Don't lie to me, Shion-chan- where is your father and his business to punish you if they overhear the truth?"_

She had never felt so small as she did now, standing with a battered, but hopeful heart in front of an enormous, gray scale building.

Taking a deep, steadying breath, Chikaru stepped through the immense glass doors and fixed the receptionist with her most charming smile; it came to her easily, the way it used to be real. "I'm here to interview for the internship," she said, her voice so steady that she doubted it was her own. The receptionist nodded and pressed a button somewhere behind her desk to alert the interviewer of her arrival.

Chikaru sent her one last smile before heading over to the straight-backed chairs across the office, lowering herself into one and finding it surprisingly comfortable. She leaned back, closing her eyes and awaiting her fate.

Of course she knew she would get the position- even if she were completely incompetent, her charming smile and silver tongue were enough to get her anywhere she needed to go. It felt like selling out, like going against everything she believed in, but the past three months of sitting in her room at home, her insides feeling hollow as though she hadn't eaten in days, she knew that the only thing worse than selling out would be to sit around and do nothing about it.

"_What if it's not a lie, Chikaru? Would you hold me to a lie for the sake of whatever feelings you have __for me?"_

A cleared throat interrupted her thoughts, and she slowly blinked back to reality, only to come face-to-face with a familiar, stern-faced man. She smiled, and watched as the corners of his lips relaxed slightly, into an almost-smile.

_Like clockwork._

"It's been too long, Chikaru-chan," the man said in a low voice, so unlike any she'd ever heard, and yet just familiar enough to sting a little bit. "I see you've finally given up on those ridiculous fancies of yours."

Her smile tightened, if only slightly. "What can I say?" she asked in a light, honey-sweet lilt. These lies, they sickened her, nauseated her, but at least no one else could see through them. Funny, how she'd always been able to see through everyone else, and now she was the only one who could see through herself. _What a miserable way to live._ "I've decided to follow my dream, Toumori-san." And that, at least, was perhaps the first truth she'd told all day.

_ I won't let you go just yet, kaichou._

**PGBR**

Tsubomi lay on her back, staring up at the speckled ceiling facing blankly down at her. The summer hadn't been the break she'd hoped it would be- instead it had left her with an empty feeling, a hole inside her stomach that way fraying at the edges. She needed Yaya more than she cared to admit.

_Certainly more than she needs you._

It had started the day she'd returned from summer vacation (or before that, even, but Tsubomi preferred not to think of such things). She'd barged into their shared room only to squeak and duck back out, having caught her senpai in a very compromising situation with a younger girl.

It shocked her, really, that the first emotion she'd felt was humiliation, followed by the hot rush of jealousy that made her want to stomp back in and drag the girl out by her hair, and then go back in and smack Yaya upside the head.

But Tsubomi hadn't been able to bring herself to go back in and put herself through the rush of emotions that she'd gone through the last time, and she'd sat there for another half hour before the younger girl left giggling, and a smirking Yaya had nudged her with her foot. Scowling, the pinkette had scowled and shoved by the slightly dumbfounded brunette, and that had been it. Reluctant acceptance- she didn't control Yaya, and had no right over her, no matter how much she wished she did. If the girl wanted to drown her heartbreak in the heartbreak of other young girls then...

Tsubomi rolled over and growled into her pillow. Yaya was turning into the next Hanazono Shizuma, and no matter what the pinkette's feelings were on the matter, she was breaking the hearts of a hundred starry-eyed young girls.

The door burst open as if on cue, and Tsubomi stayed where she was, knowing that, unlike her previous roommate, Yaya couldn't keep her mouth shut for more than a few seconds. Sure enough, the pinkette found herself scrambling to sit up as an extra weight dropped onto her bed. "Not sleeping late, are you, Tsu-bo-mi-chan?" the brunette cooed, her warm breath dangerously close to the pinkette's flushed ear. "That's a nasty habit..."

"You're one to talk about nasty habits, baka!" Tsubomi snapped before she could stop herself, all of her frustration boiling to the surface. Yaya recoiled slightly, eyebrows crinkled in surprise and confusion. "How can you sit here and tease me for sleeping in late when you sleep in whoever's dorm happens to be the most convenient?"

Yaya blinked several times before a slow grin began to appear on her face. "There's no need to be jealous, Tsubomi-chaaan..."

Tsubomi growled, more out of frustration that she couldn't _actually _deny that and still be truthful. "Why would I be jealous of all the STDs you're contracting?" she finally muttered, rolling back onto her side under the pretense of tiredness.

"I do not have STDs!"

"Yet..."

Yaya huffed and Tsubomi felt the bed shift slightly. Thinking that the older girl had gone, at least back to her side of the room, she sat up only to find the older girl seated cross-legged at the foot of her bed. "Look, Tsubomi-chan," the brunette began, scratching the back of her neck. "You're like...you stuck by me back when nobody else would, and you've kinda become my best friend." She licked her lips slightly, biting her lip as if to think of the words that would come next. "This...this sleeping with other girls helps me forget her in a way that doesn't hurt you or any of my other friends, because God knows I can't afford to fuck up again."

Tsubomi watched the brunette's face for a moment only to determine that she was having one of her rare serious moments. Unfortunately, Yaya's serious moments often required Tsubomi to let go of any pride she had left in her little body. "You never...messed up," Tsubomi replied, shooting Yaya a glare for her dirty mouth. "It's just how Hikari-senpai handled it. She freaked out, she didn't know what to do. I think she was confused by her feelings, like she was forcing herself to want Amane-sama because wanting you would be too much for her at that time."

There was silence for several moments before Yaya broke into a grin and crawled stealthily into Tsubomi's space. "You're so cute when you get all serious, Tsu-bo-mi-chaaan..." she purred, causing the other girl to flush red.

"B-baka!" she stuttered, "I'm always serious, unlike _some _people who choose to shirk their responsibilities and 'take life as it comes'," she finished, complete with air quotes. Yaya grinned and leaned forward, kissing her flaming forehead before sitting back and sliding off of the bed with a wink.

"I'll see you later, Tsundere-chan."

Fighting to get past her blush, Tsubomi managed what must have been the most unconvincing death glare she'd ever given. "In choir?" she asked with a slight frown, attempting to sound intimidating.

Turning back to face her, Yaya raised an eyebrow. "Come on, Tsubomi-chan," she said, taking a step forward and taking the pinkette's chin in her hand. "Someone might think you don't know me at all."

And then she was gone, and Tsubomi was left with that overwhelming sense of relieving emptiness that always struck her when Yaya left. She raised her hand slowly to her forehead before jerking it away, as if touching the spot would erase the memory of the small sign- the one promise that Yaya's eyes always seemed to give her with each new girl.

_It won't be forever._

But sometimes it felt as if it already had been.

**PGBR**

It wasn't like Tamao to sit around in her room and mope, and on top of that, if she did that, Nagisa would be even more upset than she already was.

Now, Suzumi Tamao wasn't a violent person. In fact, she was probably the most gentle person she knew. But the night Nagisa had run crying to her because 'Shizuma needed something more', the bluenette had been seconds from throttling the damn playgirl once and for all.

_Just get 'er done._

But she hadn't, because she was good ol' Tamao, and she liked poetry and books and peaceful time in the library.

"Keep beating yourself up about it, you might turn back time," a semi-feline lilt spoke from behind her.

Tamao only slightly jumped as a honey-brunette appeared from behind a bookcase. "Good day, Momomi-sama," she mumbled. She really wasn't in the mood for the brunette's teasing- in fact, Momomi's graduation had been one of the only highlights of the end of the previous year. Unfortunately, the brunette was actually a year behind the majority of her cohorts, and still had a whole nother year at Spica. "Is the sarcasm really necessary?"

Momomi giggled as she slid into the seat across from Tamao as if she were unaware of the blunette's mood. Tamao knew better, though- it had been like this all summer. Tamao had stayed in the dorms to try and forget about everything, but everything found a way to find her in the most unlikely person. "Necessary, no," the brunette chirped. "Amusing, yes."

"Your standards have sunk," Tamao murmured under her breath as she browsed a section of poetry books.

Momomi scoffed. "You're not one to talk, Suzumi," she snapped, and Tamao realized the girl had taken the comment as a personal insult to her ability to function without Kaname. "A real catch you got yourself, yeah? Naïve, tame, and none-too-bright, and even after the great Etoile-_sama _dropped her like a sack of potatoes, she still doesn't want you."

"You don't know anything," Tamao muttered, her eyes rapidly drying as she stared hard at the book in front of her, willing herself not to feel.

Momomi let out a small cooing noise as she leaned against the bookcase, calling Tamao's attention to herself. "You're right, of course," she said with a sickly sweet smile. "It's not that she doesn't want you- it's that she doesn't even _see _you." She hesitated for a moment, her eyes flickering to the poet's. "How does it feel to be engulfed by the shadow of a girl who will always be wrong choice that all the girls will make?"

"Can we not do this today, Momomi-sama?" Tamao asked quietly, finally dragging her eyes away from the spine of the book. "Classes at Miator start tomorrow, and I have a quiz on the first day that I need to study for."

She heard the distinct sound of the brunette's huff, and, of course, the sound of footsteps following after her as she checked out the single book she'd chosen. _Poetry From the Wartime Era. _Tamao internally winced.

She didn't know when it had started, or, more accurately, why Momomi had chosen _her_. She had a good idea _why _Momomi teased and bit the way she did, but she thought that the older girl could surely have found a better, more reactive target, such at the new school president Hirashi Ayaka, who had a temper like Shion's and none of her political prowess. The honey-brunette had simply come up to her one day while she was walking along, a book in her nose, and had shoved the book out of her hands before sauntering away. Since then, their relationship had evolved into something of an antagonistic friendship. Momomi took out her frustration on Tamao with her snide remarks, and Tamao simply learned to ignore them, or even appreciate her company. It was better than being alone.

_Because all you see is _her _face, even when your time is all your own._

**So sorry for the terrible awful chapter guys- I needed to get it out there, because I am terrible with the beginnings of stories, and it was going to be awful anyway...anyway, please leave a review if you want me to continue. Peace and whatever.**


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